if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
