Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
