problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
