I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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