Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
