The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
