I heard we made out
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
