1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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