Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
