My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
