she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
