Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
