Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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