Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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