So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
