look no pants
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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