Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
