And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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