my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
