just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
