they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
