I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
