it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
