So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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