i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
