my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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