i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
