I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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