it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
