I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
