She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize