He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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