My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
whose parrot is this?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
