It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
