I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
