I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
