I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
