We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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