I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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