i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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