I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
