those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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