I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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