No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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