If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
