I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
