yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
