Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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