Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
