I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
