he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
