hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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