I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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