Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
