I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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