This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
