is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
