yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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