D3 body, D1 cock
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
