i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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