Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
